The title of this article is a line from <A Wise doctor’s life>, which is a drama running nowadays. The drama is about a group of people who live each day as ordinary and special in a hospital, a microcosm of life, where some are born and some die. In one of the dialogues, people asked the protagonist why she bought firewood. She answered “I bought it for me.” and this exchange gave me a lot of thought. The place is a bustling hospital where people live and die, and the main characters who work there are in a rush every day. She does her best as professor, a doctor, someone’s daughter and also herself. Also, the main character, who does not neglect herself even in her busy life, made me look back at myself.
Most people are faithful to their external roles, such as someone’s family and their social roles, and also work hard to live up to people’s expectations. After living such a busy life, I am bound to make appointments or rest at home on my day off. There was only little time for myself. Can I say this is being truly happy? Usually, I have been truly worried about these things, so this dialogue touched my heart even more deeply. Every day in a recurring routine, I asked myself ‘Is this what I want?’ and it was not easy to answer. We all live different lives, just like our faces are all different, so there is no common answer applicable to everyone. I recommend that you look back on your life and whether you have been chasing. You have to find the right answers for you and stop trying to comply to the common standard of social happiness.
Until last semester, I followed the same routine of going to a part-time job after taking a class every day. I thought I should reward myself for being so busy and working so hard. After last semester, I agonized about what can I do for myself and what I want to do, but I couldn’t think of anything. Therefore, I spent time watching movies and dramas that I haven’t seen while eating delicious food. When I sincerely pondered what was right for me and what I liked or felt happy about, I could get an answer from one of my friends whom I couldn’t see for a while because of my busy life. My friend said she is taking a DJing class, and I asked her “Why are you learning that?” She answered, “Cause I want to.” It’s just a simple answer but it gave me a lot of food for thought. At some point, getting a good job and living in a nice house became the standard of happiness. Therefore, when I heard that she is learning to DJing, I immediately thought it was wasting time. However, she looked really happy when she said “Cause I want to.”
After this incident, I was facing a dilemma about what I like to do. I have never thought about what I like to do, and what will make me happy, so I was confused. Furthermore, it was the first time that I thought about when I laughed a lot and when I was really happy. By continuously trying to look at myself, and searching for what I like, I could find my new look and I could serendipitously find my happiness from an unexpected pleasure. Moreover, these discoveries became a new source of vitality in my life.
Knowing yourself and discovering your true happiness can be the greatest motivation in your life. Of course, it is difficult to know all about myself. Maybe life is too short to know all about myself. However, life can be divided into before or after finding true happiness. If you had spent every day being chased by reality, how about concentrating only on yourself for just a day? Having something that you like to do, can be a genuine support in difficult times when no matter how tired you may be. It’s a busy life, but I recommend that you make time for thinking about yourself and what you want to do in your pursuit of happiness.